i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
