He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
