he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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