I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize