this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
