Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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