I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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