pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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