ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
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