let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
