Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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