fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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