I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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