can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
