i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
