It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
