I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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