Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
