I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
