even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i think my cat just said my name.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
