You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I think I won the penis lottery.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
