i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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