You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
