he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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