I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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