i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize