There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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