you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We had sex on a dog bed..
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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