Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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