I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
