Please, let me fuck your mom
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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