WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
