i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
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