I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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