Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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