We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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