the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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