I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
