Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
