...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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