i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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