Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
