the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
