I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
