ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
