You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize