My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I am mentally ready for anal.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
