Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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