This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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