If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
