sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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