just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
