Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
