with your own penis?
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
