My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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