White coat. Heels.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize