Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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