I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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