The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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