speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
