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Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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